Just Me

I don't even know how to begin. I'm so nervous yet proud of myself because this is the first time I tried to write about what I'm thinking. This is an achievement for me because often times I tend to think too much and not coming up with a good solution at the same time distancing myself from the real world. Well, that's just me.

As all of you know (or haven't known) I am a deep thinker. Deep in a sense that the topics I think about are matters of love, life, death, family, people, faith, and the future, in short just about anything. Thinker in a sense that I think of all these topics whenever I am bored, before I go to bed, while traveling to school, while taking a bath, while I'm eating, in short, anytime. The only time when I'm not thinking is when I'm asleep, when I'm watching tv, and when I'm talking to someone about something else. Maybe that's why I'm always distracted. I can't seem to do something well because my mind is always flying around. And this doesn't seem to help me very much because it causes a lot of stress for me. Every aspect of our health(physical, mental, emotional, social & spiritual) affects the other. Whenever we have emotional stress, it affects our physical health. And yet problems encountered physically causes mental stress which in turn causes us (particularly me) to have social "pagkukulang" (i can't seem to find the english term). Spiritual health for me is not just about God and faith and all these things but also involves our spirit, our morale & how we want to live our life. Maybe that's where I'm lacking. I believe in God, yet I don't believe in the practices of the Church. I lack faith. One major turning point for me was the college retreat. At first I thought to myself that I would not take it seriously, but it came at a right time. It was the time when I was about to give up, to lose faith in everything, even myself. That retreat made me realize that I should not give up. That I should not let go. That I should move on. And ever since, I changed. I felt taht change and figured that I should continue to change so that I can become a better person. And maybe that's the reason why I'm writing this now. I am trying to become a better person, and I think that maybe, this helps. I hope it does. I think it will. I know it will. Don't you? Well, that's just me.